September 3rd 2024 was just supposed to be a normal ‘off day’ for me, but little did I know that it would be the start of my new life. My name is Belindah, and I am a 37 year old single mother of one – and I am a stroke survivor.
I had a stroke on 3 September 2024, which affected the left side of my brain. But at that time I had no clue what was happening to me; I just thought I was tired and that I needed to rest. I work as a support worker and I was 36 years old at the time that it happened.
I had just finished my night shift and I was just a few metres away from my home, when suddenly I just saw black in front of me, so I closed my eyes just to tried to make sense of what was happening to me.
I then opened my eyes after a few seconds – and that’s when I realised that everything around me was spinning and I was losing my balance.
Before I could even register what was happening to me, I suddenly felt a sharp pain at the back of my head on the left side as if I had been struck by a baseball bat or a very heavy object at the back of my head – and then I lost the sensation on my right side and I immediately dropped the groceries I was holding.
I then dropped to my knees and tried picking the groceries up with my right hand, but it was a struggle as I realised that my right hand was not working anymore. I couldn’t pick anything up, so I then managed to use my left hand instead.
I then got up and crossed the road without even checking to see if there were moving cars on the road, because I just kept telling myself that I needed to sleep and rest for a while. I finally got to the house I stay in, and I struggled for a bit to open the front door because I kept wanting to use my right hand that was not functioning anymore. I finally gave up and used my left hand instead. When I finally got into the house I went straight to my bedroom, which is upstairs. This was a struggle – even just to open my bedroom door, I kept trying to open the door, but by then I had lost my voice and I could not speak anymore; my sight was affected; I could not see clearly – and I was losing balance.
Luckily my house mate that lives in the next room has a dog and the dog kept barking; trying to alert his owner that something was wrong with Belindah, and eventually my house mate came to find out why his dog was barking so loudly – and that was when he saw me struggling to open my bedroom door. I remember clearly when he opened his door; I was looking for my keys in my handbag, but I did not realise that I had actually dropped the keys, and that they were right in front of me – but I couldn’t see them. He asked me if I was okay and I just smiled at him, because I had lost my voice.
My housemate then opened the door for me and I immediately took some painkillers and I went straight to sleep. I then slept for about three to four hours, only to be woken up by the sound of the alarm that I had set the previous day for a doctor’s appointment, just for a normal routine check. My GP is a just a walking distance away from my place so I decided to walk, and on my way there I realised that I was now drooling from my mouth, but i would just quickly wipe it away each time.
When I arrived at the GP I showed them my ID since i could not talk and had to wait for quite some time before I could see the them. When it was time to see the doctor we did not communicate well, since i could not talk and she actually wrote in her notes she was failing to understand the patient since “her speech was not clear”. But, since it was just a normal routine and all the results were clear the GP told me to go home, without realising that the reason I couldn’t talk was because I’d had a stroke!
I suppose with how young I was, it seemed impossible to even think that could have happened, because I too did not even believe it had happened; I just thought I was tired and needed to rest some more. I got back home and spent the whole day sleeping. The next day I spent half of the day sleeping and I then had to prepare for my night shift. When i got to work I had a weekly report to write and my job involves 24hour CCTV, and what you see on camera must be recorded in the logs. When i started logging in the books I suddenly realised that I couldn’t write properly. Yes I was writing, but it was just not making sense – I would just be writing letters. I decided to show my colleague what I was writing, thinking she could maybe make sense of it and that was when she also realised that something was seriously wrong with me, and then told me that she will take me to the hospital after our shift.
This was the moment that I actually realised that this was serious – and that I needed medical attention. In the morning of the 5th of September 2024 I got to the hospital and I struggled to talk to the woman at the reception and she asked me to write my details but I struggled even to do that. So she Immediately called the doctor and the doctors rushed me for a MRI scan. I remember clearly as I was laying on the table in the MRI room and I made the mistake of looking at the doctors, who were seeing my scan and two doctors seemed to become four doctors! One folded his arms, one was touching his chin, and one was scratching his head and another was opening his mouth wide – all with a shocked look on their faces.
I stayed on that table for less than thirty minutes but It felt like i had been laying there for a long time and by now my heart was racing fast and I was getting scared and weak by this time. The doctor then took me back to the waiting room and he explained to me that I’d had a stroke in the left side of my brain, and that they had to transport me to Queens Hospital in Romford.
I just remember breaking down in tears and the doctor assured me that I was in safe hands, and I had passed the critical stage. I just needed to focus on getting treatment and getting better. I was admitted at Queens hospital on the 5th of September and I had so many tests done, the therapists would come and have to help me with my speech and writing skills. This was the start of learning how to use my right hand again. I was discharged on the 9th of September and went back home. I thank the staff at Stroke ward at Queens hospital for taking care of me and helping me recover at that awful time.
I lost movement to my right side and critical thinking (which is why I could not think about going to the hospital sooner) logic and reasoning, language, science and maths, writing, numeracy… I could feel it all just seeming to ‘go’. I also lost a lot of senses, and even up to now I still don’t have my sense of taste back. I cannot taste food, and I have lost weight as a result of that. I used to love cooking and baking, but I have lost that passion because I couldn’t see what the point was; if I can’t even taste the food that I’ve cooked!
I also lost the ability to cry. The first and only day that I cried was when I had to leave my daughter at the airport when I was coming back to the UK in January 2025. I cried as I hugged her in my arms, thinking I’d almost lost that opportunity to hug her and kiss her and tell her how much I love her. The hardest part was the fact that I spent days not being able to talk to her like we used to before it all happened.
lt was really painful for me but I decided to visit my family back home, overseas, when I was fit enough to travel and It was great to see and spend some time with my family. That day it happened changed everything – and in just a matter of seconds. I kept thinking of my daughter and my mother; I was left with too many unanswered questions. Every day I ask myself ”What ifs”, and I ask myself what I could have done differently to stop this from happening – but the reality is that maybe there was nothing I could have done. I have better days and I have worse days. At times it’s so hard to interact with others, because sometimes I still struggle with my speech; mostly when I try to speak quickly, and It gets frustrating at times when you are not being understood, or when I struggle to find the rights words. But, I have finally accepted it and have learnt to adjust to my new life, although really most times it’s so hard.
I am now ready to move on and start my new life. I have now taken the bold step by trying to own my experience – and finally feel like I am able to talk about it.
Life after stroke has been difficult. There isn’t a manual book that comes with instructions. It’s been seven months now, but I still struggle every day. The difficult part is going back to work after stroke and the financial strain it has been on me. Not many people understand what you have been through and what I keep going through each and every single day. Most people judge you by what you look like and automatically decide what you can and cannot do based on that.
Fatigue will always remain a big challenge for many survivors often on almost on a daily basis. There are emotional changes that happen after stroke too; and at times I just try to Isolate myself and get into my own world as many people misunderstand my actions as being rude, disrespectful or ignorant, but other times I just want to be loved with no questions asked.
I am now taking my life back; no more feeling sorry for myself! I want to be stronger and better than I was before. I was fortunate enough to have people who helped me with my recovery, so my goal is to help raise awareness about stroke in young people and support them in any way that I can. Stroke is (very) real, so let’s try to avoid stresses and overthinking too much, especially in situations where we might have less control of that now anyway.
No one should ever have to go through what I went through, but also no one should ever need to feel alone – so I will do my bit; to be someone else’s comfort and strength.
There are 100,000 strokes in the UK each year with 1 in 4 happening to somebody of working age or younger. Different Strokes aims to promote independent stroke recovery and help these younger stroke survivors reclaim their lives.
Make a smile lottery is a weekly fundraising lottery. A fun and exciting way to help Different Strokes raise vital funds that will secure our future.
It only costs £1 per play, and you can choose to play every week or whenever you feel like taking a chance and doing something good. For more information click here.
We’re delighted to announce that Different Strokes Community Events are returning this September, with two fantastic opportunities for younger stroke survivors, family members and carers to come together, connect and share experiences.
Different Strokes is delighted to announce the return of its Glasgow Peer Support Group, providing a welcoming space for working-age stroke survivors, their families and
On Saturday 18th July, over 100 people gathered in Northamptonshire to mark 30 years of Different Strokes. Reclaiming Life After Stroke The day opened with
Free Webinar | Wednesday 22 July | 11:00am When someone you love has a stroke, life can change in an instant. Partners, spouses and family
During June we hosted a Community Event in London at the offices of Bolt Burdon Kemp.
Different Strokes is pleased to be partnering with specialist medical negligence law firm Fletcher’s Solicitors to offer a free online webinar for stroke survivors, families and carers.
