In 2012 I was running my own mechanic business in Southall, Middlesex.  I enjoyed my job and loved getting to meet different people.  Our customers always recommended us and we had a great reputation as specialists in automatic gearboxes.  Things were going well business-wise. In my personal life I have a grown-up son and daughter and, although separated from my wife, we were and are still a family unit and I would speak with my wife and children every day.  In the five years prior to my stroke, I had experienced a lot of personal loss; my Dad, my mum and my brother had all passed away within that short period of time.  My partner had developed breast cancer and there was also the day to day stress of running my own business.

My partner came home from work one day and found me in the living room.  I was unable to stand up.  She thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance.  When I got to hospital I was rushed to Intensive Care and they told my family I was in a critical condition.  My family were calling relatives to declare it was time to say goodbye.

I don’t remember any of this.  I was lying in a bed, attached to wires and drifting in and out of consciousness due to medication.  I had suffered a bleed on the right side of my brain.  This affected my speech, my memory, and I have weakness down my left side meaning I now use a walking stick at home and a walker for longer distances.

I stayed in the hospital for a year.  I was then moved to a nursing home for three long years.  One night I had acid reflux and hit the buzzer for assistance.  I waited and waited but no one came until the next morning.  I wondered then what would have been the result if I needed help due to another stroke or a heart attack.  I had lost all trust in the care I was receiving so I told my friends that I needed to get out of that place – and with their help I did.  I discharged myself without any professional support. At the time my family and partner believed that I wouldn’t be able to succeed – although I have to say wouldn’t recommend this method!  But I can say (and with pride) that I proved them all wrong.

Recovery has been slow.  I took up Buddhism – I chant every morning and night, and this has given me a focus and inner strength which helps me get through even my worst days.  I have such gratitude for my close family and friends, who have been amazing.  My friends Poonam Gill and Peter Brogan visited me every single day that I was in the nursing home.  It was my support network, ensuring I had visitor after visitor that kept me going.  I want to thank my children, my wife Harvinder and my sister Surita for all they did and continue to do for me.

I now live independently and have done for three years.  I used to have carers when I was first discharged but now my flat has been adapted so that I can take care of my own personal care.  I can’t cook in my flat but Harvinder and my friends drop meals off every single day!  I go swimming once a week and I love going to my local 80’s nights – my favourite singer is Luther Vandross.  He was the soundtrack to my youth.  I was even awarded a courage and strength award from a local charity and this whole experience has taught me that life is what you make of it! I practice a positive attitude every day and give thanks for everyday I am not bed-ridden or in a nursing home.

I found out about Different Strokes from my Auntie Sunita.  Her husband had a stroke and she gave me their phone number.  I call regularly when I need to and chat to other stroke survivors who understand what it is like and I also plan to attend our local stroke group soon that does exercise.  I want to improve my mobility.  I can do about two or three steps at the moment but I would love to be able to do more in the future.  My advice to anyone recovering from stroke is to try and be positive –  there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

Finally, the thing I really want to do in my story is to thank everyone who’s helped me with my recovery!  I couldn’t have done it on my own.  The nurses on the Q Ward were amazing as were all of my family and friends.