Annette's Story - Stroke at 62

The day began just like any other day – my husband Kevin and I were sat in bed drinking cups of tea, watching the news and chatting about our plans for the day ahead. I felt perfectly well and had no warning signs of what the months ahead from that morning held for us.

Kevin said he was going downstairs for a shower, so I said I would use the upstairs bathroom to wash. I stopped on the landing to look out the window – it was a nice August day, the sun was shining and the birds were happily enjoying the abundance of food in the garden and all was well. I smiled at how amazing Mother Nature was and continued to the bathroom.

This is the point that the nightmare began for Kevin. He returned to the bedroom after his shower and got dressed. When I still didn’t appear he started to feel uneasy – something didn’t feel right. He called my name and I didn’t answer so he went to the bathroom door and shouted

“Are you OK honey?”

This time I did respond, but I was crying and saying something was very wrong. Even though I have no memory of the next few hours I understand now that I did unlock the door and he led me crying back to the bedroom. Apparently I sat sobbing there on the side of the bed – and not knowing who I was or what was happening to me. Kevin managed to get me dressed and downstairs and he called my daughter Amy. She came over straight away and between them they called for an ambulance.

My first hazy memory was seeing a room full of paramedics, all looking at me and I wondered what on earth they were doing in my lounge! I was being very aggressive and obnoxious – and to everyone, which was so out of character for me. My sister arrived and apparently I was shouting at her too! This was all too much for Kevin and he was crying too, so my sister took him into the conservatory to allow the paramedics to do their work. Amazingly a stroke ambulance was only ten minutes from our home when they got the call.

Amy later told me that I had seemed literally to turn into an elderly lady with dementia in just a few short hours. She also said that as she tried to comfort me her whole life was whirring away in her head. Would she have to give up work to care for me? Was this the way her mum would be forever now? How would she cope with the loss of who I was? The thoughts were real – and endless, but she managed to keep it all together for us all.

There was a neurologist with the stroke ambulance team and amazingly a CT scanner too, so I was moved into the ambulance. By this time I had started to come round a bit and stopped yelling at everyone (so embarrassing in retrospect). The scan showed a past and ‘silent’ stroke and a possible new stroke, but it would need an MRI to confirm as the images weren’t clear. They also decided not to give me the clot busting drugs as there was some evidence of slight haemorrhage.

I was then taken to our local hospital and ended up in the stroke unit feeling very fragile and battle worn. An MRI scan showed a bilateral stroke at the back of my brain which is quite rare but explained why I didn’t have any of the usual stroke symptoms other than a bit of weakness down my right side particularly in my right hand.

When the doctor confirmed I’d had a stroke I couldn’t stop crying, even though it was no surprise. It was particularly difficult because Kevin wasn’t allowed to visit me for three days due to the Covid pandemic – and no other family members were allowed on the ward. On day three when Kevin came to my bedside, all dressed in apron gloves and mask, it was like the best moment in my life and we just hugged and cried together for ages.

I remained in the stroke unit for a week, so compared to many of the other patients there this was pretty good, but it was great to be home again even if I was still very weak and tearful. The community stroke team was brilliant and for four weeks someone visited me every day. I had problems with my cognitive thought and kept repeating myself over and over again. My usually creative brain seemed to have left me all together and my right hand and right leg just didn’t seem to work properly, but I was still able to get around. The early months were tough on all levels, and particularly for Kevin, who had to do so much for me – but slowly I did improve.

After a few months I was able to go to stroke rehabilitation at a local head injury facility. This place was amazing and covered physiotherapy, occupational therapy and help getting back to work. They also included Kevin as much as they could and he was able to talk through all his feelings with a counsellor, which he found very helpful.

It’s surprising how quickly I became dependent on other people. I knew I was really getting better when viewing myself as being ‘sick’ really started to annoy me. At this point, I made a conscious decision to view myself as being well and this subtle change in attitude really helped me.

I found Different Strokes very helpful when I had my stroke and although everyone’s story is different, it was good to know that there are plenty of people out there who (like me) didn’t have the usual ‘FAST‘ symptoms. The practical information on the website was useful too. It felt like a very crazy, lonely world when I first had the stroke, as I’m sure many other survivors will remember from their own experiences. I remember researching as much as I could on the Internet, looking for any bit of help or crumb of comfort that would get me through those difficult days.

As for one bit of advice (well I have two ) – I’d say to survivors to take everything ‘step-by-step’. To begin with, Kevin walked with me in our garden, until I went from just doing a few steps, to being able to walk around the whole garden. Also, take it step-by-step emotionally; some days it worked and others it didn’t. On those days I just had to take a step back and start again the next day – and keep it as simple as that.

Eighteen months on I do feel pretty much back to my old self, although I do still have a few neurological issues and slight problems with my right side still – but I feel I will be able to live a full enough life once more.

I have no idea what my future holds and I doubt I will ever feel trusting of my body again, but my perspective on life has definitely changed. The people I love are my priority. I no longer sweat the small stuff and I will never find the words to truly thank my husband for everything he has done to support me.

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There are 100,000 strokes in the UK each year with 1 in 4 happening to somebody of working age or younger. Different Strokes aims to promote independent stroke recovery and help these younger stroke survivors reclaim their lives.

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