One question I get asked is how and why I got involved with Different Strokes.  I guess one of the reasons they ask is from looking at me it’s not obvious that I have had a stroke, so what is my interest in stroke?  I have no physical disabilities, no speech issues, so if you were to pass me in the street you wouldn’t know.  Well…here is my story…

Before 27 September 2009 I was a 39 year old, fairly ‘normal’, ambitious, work-focused individual.  I actually worked very long hours, and often 6 days a week but also ‘played’ hard… I travelled to Long Island (New York) on a regular basis for work trips and was a fairly successful principal business analyst for a global software company.  I had 2 lovely young children (who are now quite grown up!) that I used to see every other weekend and for part of their holidays. As I was fairly good at my job I was very busy at work, working on multiple projects spanning multiple time zones.  I loved my job and my kids.  Life was pretty good…

Then one Sunday afternoon whilst walking around the shops I felt a very sudden but immensely strong pain from the back of my head.  I immediately looked behind me as it felt like I had been clubbed from behind. I expected to see someone standing there with a golf club or something…but I saw no one…and there was also no blood…which I couldn’t understand.  Within minutes, the pain began to spread from the back of my head moving forwards, and my arms and neck started getting very stiff.  I started feeling very hot and started to feel a bit numb in places.  After a little time I called my friend and explained what was happening – his wife immediately said in the background – “Get him to hospital!”

Rather than calling an ambulance, my friend drove me to A&E where I was immediately taken for a CT scan.  This was when the hospital staff revealed I had suffered a subarachnoid haemorrhage (SAH) – a type of stroke where there is bleeding on the brain.  I was shocked!  How could this be happening to me??!  I was only 39 years old!!  Surely strokes only happened to older people…right??

Well, after spending several days in the neuro intensive care unit I was then moved to a stroke ward.  I was extremely fortunate in that all of my feeling in my body came back very quickly and it seemed that I wasn’t affected.  Whilst in the stroke ward, I observed the majority of patients were considerably older, and that their issues were very different to mine.  This made me feel quite odd…surely, I couldn’t be the only 39 year old who’d had a stroke??

After I was eventually discharged from hospital I went home and decided to formulate a plan to figure out how I was going to rehabilitate.  I worked with my GP, a neurologist and a fitness trainer to get me back to ’normal’.  After many months of hard work and effort I was walking properly again (at least 5 miles!) and driving.  Today I am left with thunder clap headaches and fatigue.

Whilst contemplating my experience one day, I realised that I had been extremely lucky – in fact I fell into the 1% of people that experienced a SAH and made a good recovery.  But what about the others?  What happened to them?  Are there others even??  I spoke to a lady from Different Strokes about potentially starting a support group in the city where I lived.  It involved going to a public meeting of approx 50-60 strangers, all of varying abilities, and talking to people about their strokes and how they are getting on.  At that time this was a very daunting task… However, this was where I met my new post-stroke bestie. We immediately hit it off and decided to start a support group.  Some years on we now have approximately 40 members and have close links with the local stroke wards at the hospital, the local universities that run stroke research projects and other voluntary organisations.

As time has progressed I have become more involved with the charity; I am now the chair of the national charity that is Different Strokes.  How would I describe Different Strokes?  We are the charity that really punches above its weight!  We reach more and more people every day, supporting younger stroke survivors and their families through their post stroke lives.

I used to think that I was fulfilled as an individual pre-stroke – I was blessed with 2 lovely children, I had a nice house in a nice village in Bucks, I travelled with work, I was rewarded well, I was good at what I did! (Did I mention that already??) But that pales into insignificance compared to the feeling I get whilst volunteering for Different Strokes – this is PROPER fulfilment.  The feeling I get when I know I have positively impacted a stroke survivor or family member of a stroke survivor’s life is incredible – the best ‘buzz’ you can get.  This is what we call really “Making a difference”.

I now have 2 families – my natural family pre-stroke and my Different Strokes family – both have a place in my heart and always will.

Finally, what words of advice would I give to a stroke survivor…hmm…the first thing is you are a SURVIVOR!  You have survived so you have a life to live….and life is for living, not just ‘existing’.  If you need support, then seek it out.  There are people out there that have been where you are and have come out of it so if you need to talk to someone, pick up the phone, send an email – smoke signals!  Whatever it takes to get you the support you need – just do it!