I was a 39-year old woman, mother of 2 kids, a yoga teacher, long-distance runner, high altitude mountaineer, traveller, spiritual, author and CTO of a standardization consultancy – whose life though busy was sizzling with energy, positivity and happiness and never a dull or lazy moment!

It sounds so ideal for a healthy human and who would imagine that I would wake up one morning at……6.30AM on a Sunday morning- Aug 25^th 2019- and would not be able to move.  I tried to get up, but I was profusely sweating and didn’t have the stability to even come off the bed.   I called out to my husband for help as he was getting ready for our 10km jog and lay down unable to move.

My heart rate was as low as 44bpm.  I started having double vision and continuous vomiting as I was not able to swallow anymore.  I could not even remember the last time I fell sick even with a cold or fever before this day, and all of a sudden, I was lying, like a vegetable, not able to even move.

I took a couple of steps to go to the hospital with the help of my family but collapsed on the spot and my legs wouldn’t move.

At 8am we called for an ambulance and that’s when I shut my eyes.  Thereafter I could only hear what was happening around me, but my eyes didn’t have the strength to stay open.  From 10am to 5pm – I was in the emergency ward – having multiple tests, CT and MRI scans and finally at 5.36pm they concluded that I’d had a brain stroke!  It was lateral medullary syndrome, as the blood to my left vertebral artery was blocked, so the functions which that side of the brain handles, such as. walking, swallowing and vision were hindered.  The doctors took several hours to detect this as my continuously vomiting diverted their attention towards my stomach and abdomen. Also, considering my age and fitness level it did not occur to any of us that it could be related to the brain.

When one hears from the doctor that they’ve had a stroke, you’d think they would be terrified, but I was relieved!  I was relieved that I at least now know what it is and always knew that I would put my all into my own recovery.  Apparently, I was born with a left vertebral artery (hypoplastic artery) which never grew since birth.  For such cases, there is a very high chance that a stretch or twist to the neck could lead to a clot, which for ‘regular’ people would just move around and dissolve, but in my kind of case would block the narrow artery as it cannot pass through.  Now, is that my fault for being with a narrow artery?! – Definitely not!

But the next day when I woke up, I could move a few steps with support, but could no longer speak.  I was told that one of my left vocal cord was paralyzed and I could not talk or eat through my mouth for 25-40 days, minimum – and until then, there would be a tube running from my nose to my stomach to feed me liquids!  I then asked the doctor how long they think it would take to get back to normal life – like yoga, runs, hikes, etc. and there was no definite answer.  There were suggestions; maybe six months, maybe two years, maybe longer – ‘it all depends on how the body recovers.’  When I went online and researched, all I could read was of people taking years but not getting back to their earlier life – the symptoms lingered forever.

At that moment, I had just two options –

Feel bad for myself, slow down in life and wait until I recover, if I ever do

OR

Accept the situation – Yes, I had a stroke!!  and tell my inner self (which is way stronger than we know) that I will be back to normal irrespective of the chances and irrespective of what the doctor or the Internet might say.

I then told my husband – “I will be out of the hospital in 4 days and will be back to normal life in 10 days with no tube no dependency” and my family wanted me to slow down, as this was the time to recover – but, sometimes when someone has made up their mind to be fine, nobody should be able to stop them.

I refused to accept that I was a patient who should slow down

• I believed that all the effort I have put all my life to connect to my soul cannot be wasted
• I was out of hospital on Thursday, and the tube was removed in 10 days.
• I was back to my Yoga and walks in 15 days.
• I started my 5km jogs in 30 days.
• I ran a half marathon (21.095km) race on Oct 6th after 41 days.
• I started my travels in 45 days – and in 60 days hiked Asia’s largest monolithic rock in my city!

Sure, I would have to pop in an Aspirin pill every day to avoid recurrence of the stroke, but that is all that I wanted to change in my life!

I’m writing this on November 25^th 2019 (exactly 3 months after), and all I can say is that I do not regret having got a stroke even for a single moment! What my stroke has taught me (which probably could have taken a lifetime to realise) is that we do not have unlimited time in this life.  There is no point in giving excuses that we are busy and hence not live our passion and dreams – you are just cheating yourself and no one else.  There is one person who is best qualified to contribute to your own recovery – and it is YOU!!

No disease, no injury and no incident should take away your drive to enjoy life to the fullest!  If you are alive, that is reason enough to be thankful and nothing (including your job) should stop you from living your dreams!  If you can’t do something in the way you used to do it anymore, ask other survivors what strategies they’ve found to manage any specific problem, or what strategies they have or what they did to compensate in the Different Strokes Facebook group.

Don’t be afraid of asking for help if you need it.   Sometimes it’s the strongest thing we can do.  Ask other survivors how they coped and let’s support each other!