It was so scary knowing what I wanted to say but not being able to say anything at all!  He looked at me and the right side of my face had dropped.  Fortunately, he acted quickly getting a neighbour to come and look after our children and taking me to hospital.

I had a CT scan fairly quickly and was thrombolysed.  Within an hour of the thrombolysis I was able to say a few short words but it took so much effort and my voice was very robotic.

I will never forget the feelings of disbelief after it happened.  I was fit and healthy with no risk factors – this surely wasn’t happening to me.  Strokes happen to old people not me.  I had my yoga mat out in the stroke unit to do some stretches and I was surrounded by people thirty years older than me, it didn’t make any sense.  I was terrified of it happening again and because it happened when I was asleep I was too scared to sleep so I was exhausted.

Luckily only my speech was affected.  The early support discharge team locally was brilliant and the day after I arrived home I had a visit from Lauren who was my speech therapist for the next four months.

I was worried about how our children would react to me.  My speech was so slow and robotic and it didn’t sound like mummy at all.  The fatigue was a nightmare initially too so I wasn’t able to run round with them and look after them like I used to.  My husband explained it all to them and as a family we laughed about my robot voice together.   They encouraged me with my speech therapy homework and made me repeat words I struggled with until I got them right and then they would give me a big cheer!  They coped so much better than I had expected them to.

Despite having so much support from my family and friends I still felt very alone and isolated.  It was such a relief to find Different Strokes and find that other people, including lots of younger people, were in a similar situation dealing with similar emotions, fatigue and frustration.  I rang the office and spoke to Genise who was so kind and understanding.  I found the information pack really helpful and the book for the kids really helped our children to understand what had happened.

My speech improved slowly over the weeks and months after my stroke.  However it really affected my confidence and I felt embarrassed and self-conscious.  I began to avoid social situations but with the help of my speech therapist setting me goals each week this has improved.  I don’t feel as though my confidence is back to how it was pre-stroke but I’m getting there.  People now say that they can’t tell I have a speech impairment but I’m aware of it every day and sometimes get frustrated and find the effort of speaking really tiring.

I went back to work on a phased return after six months and fulfilled my ambition of running a marathon eight months after my stroke.  I fundraised for Different Strokes and was so pleased I could give something back.  I found running really therapeutic and loved the headspace it gave me.  Running helped me cope with it.

Life after stroke for me is different.  It can be frustrating at times but I feel blessed and intend to make the most of the second chance I have been given.