I had my transient ischaemic attack (TIA or ‘mini-stroke’) in 2018, when I was 26. Then, I was finishing a masters in the summer 2018 in Sweden (my parents are from Istanbul, Turkey) and was living with friends in a shared flat. It was during a long and stressful time when I finished writing my masters thesis. I remember it was a passive and unhealthy period in my life; recently broke up, alone abroad, terrible eating and smoking habits….. I didn’t care much about my lifestyle because I was still young and at that time I had convinced myself that this was transient and I would get back to eating healthy, exercising and be ‘outdoorsy’ again very soon.
It was late afternoon on a Wednesday (I have the details of the date/time thanks to an event on that day published on social media that I was going to) and I was planning to go to a ping pong pub with a friend later in the evening. Still having a lot of time before I had to leave, I sat down and got to playing the harmonica. It wasn’t long before I had a bad headache that got worse with time. I rarely have headaches, so I couldn’t compare it to anything, or make anything of it, but it was bad. Shortly after, I had a black dot in front of one of my eyes (cannot remember which one and silly me carried on playing the harmonica). The black dot gradually grew and I almost lost sight in one of my eyes. That is when I wanted to lie down for a while because my headache was getting out of control. I remember lying down briefly, but I couldn’t sleep because of the headache and anxiety. I had no clue what the reason for that would be but I blamed playing the harmonica because I would often go out of breath from constantly blowing.
Later in the evening, I indeed went to the pub with my friend. She says I was strange that night and I didn’t really talk much. I remember being very confused and so tired that evening, I couldn’t play ping pong or anything and wanted my friend to take me back home. I also remember losing my sense of place and a lot of confusion. I was perplexed that night and don’t remember much about it. I didn’t speak with anyone and went to bed straight away. My headache was still there but I was so tired that somehow I could sleep.
Luckily enough, my memory of the next morning is crystal clear. I woke up very early with a terrible headache. My sight was partially back but the confusion was still there, and now with a slight balance issue. Later I learned from my friend that my balance was also terrible the night before, which I don’t remember, as she tells me I was stumbling and doing ‘zig-zags’ on the way home. She thought I was drunk! Anyway, the next morning I wanted to shake it off (whatever it was), changed to my exercise outfit and headed for an outdoor boulder in the middle of a public park for an early morning exercise. That was the only exercise I was doing back then hence I was determined to go. It was a five minute distance from home, but on the way to the park, I realised that I remembered so little from the night before that I wanted to check my phone for missed calls and messages and the news. I was already in the park when I realised I couldn’t neither read my messages nor the news or even anything on my phone screen. I could see letters and words, and I knew it had to make sense, but my brain couldn’t process. That is when I realised something was seriously wrong.
I wanted to call my dad and let him know about it, and that they should check in with me during the rest of the day. I remember suddenly becoming really nervous; I feared for my life, I was afraid whatever this was would stay with me forever. Before I called my dad, I wanted to practice what I would possibly say without them getting too worried. Actually, I also wanted to practice what I would say without crying because I was so nervous and me crying would also worry them a lot. They are not used to it. That is when I realised I could not speak properly neither. I am so pig-headed, I still did a brief round of bouldering before calling it off (couldn’t manage it anyway), and got back home with wet eyes without ringing my parents. My headache was back when I returned and I slept the entirety of that the following day in my room, only to wake up for food and to go to the toilet. On Friday (two days after the stroke), I only had mild balance issues and some fatigue as I remember, but my reading and speaking abilities seemed back to normal, which calmed me down.
Until this year (2022) I have never said anything about it to my parents. When I had the stroke in 2018, I did not go to the hospital right away (I was so careless and I had no conception of a stroke without a reason). A couple of weeks after the event, a friend with medical training told me during a conversation that it all suggested a stroke and all would all be part of that. Thinking back now, it was a life-changing experience from the moment on; the fear, the desperation… I am only lucky, that’s all, it could be much worse. I am angry at my former self because of my carelessness and ignorance. I had no clue that a young person like me could have a stroke – and all of a sudden.
With the recovery being quick, and the fact that I wasn’t immediately hospitalised, nor had any after effects, at first I didn’t care much. Only now do I realise it could be much worse and seeking medical care immediately was key. I know it can also happen again. Therefore, I keep a healthy lifestyle with loads of exercise, keep a healthy mind and body; and also pay attention to my own health.
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