Ashley’s Story – Supporting His Wife After Her Haemorraghic Stroke at 33
- Greg Hollingworth
Sheila and I have always been adventurous and full of life. When we’re together, we make the most of it—especially enjoying good food (even though my wife can be a little picky with some cuisines!). We love travelling and have visited a few places across Europe. We had just gotten married and were always striving for a better life, with God guiding our journey.
We were a COVID couple, so during lockdown, we got to know each other deeply while living separately. Eventually, we moved in together and began looking for extra jobs to keep busy, as choices were limited during the pandemic. On a typical day, we’d work from home, cook together, do house chores, and in the evenings, we’d watch comedies or TV series. On weekends, we loved going sightseeing, visiting parks, or attending local events to get fresh air and make the most of our time.
The stroke happened in April, just a few days after we returned from Egypt. We had gone to visit family in Sheffield, stayed overnight, and spent time with friends and relatives. We later visited another family member, stayed with them at their house, and left around 4:30 PM.
My wife offered to drive—as we usually take turns when travelling—and everything seemed fine at first. We were chatting, deep in conversation about life, when Sheila mentioned feeling “needles.” I wasn’t sure what she meant at the time, but I noticed she hit a curb, and that’s when I realised, she had lost control of her left side. She was having a stroke.
I quickly helped her park in a safe spot nearby. She managed to stop the car, and I ran to her side. She had lost mobility, so I carefully carried her into the back seat and drove as quickly as I could to my sister’s house nearby. While I drove, a family member spoke to her on the phone to keep her calm. I called the ambulance and directed them to us. They arrived quickly, were incredibly helpful, and took us to Queen’s Medical Centre. I remember seeing my wife lying on the hospital bed—calm and quiet, but not quite “there.” Her blood pressure was extremely high. I had to quickly learn about blood pressure levels and what was considered normal. I felt helpless, just standing by while the nurses and doctors worked hard around her, but I stayed by her side the entire time.
It was extremely difficult, but surprisingly, I remained calm. I don’t know what came over me—I just knew I had to stay strong. I focused on encouraging her and tried bringing back memories by showing old photos and doing anything I could to lift her spirits. We were blessed with support from family, friends, and my workplace. I was going through probation at work when this happened, and they were incredibly understanding—I even passed my probation during this period. Sometimes I’d work from the hospital, on my laptop, while Sheila rested beside me. Some of the hospital staff even let me stay overnight, and family brought us food, fruits, and drinks to keep us going.
Life changed a lot. We couldn’t do as much together anymore, but my wife is a warrior—always ready for a challenge. She went from being dependent to regaining a lot of independence.
We had carers come in regularly to help with things like washing dishes, cleaning, medication checks, and blood pressure monitoring. This helped me see where I could support her more effectively. Over time, we’ve adjusted and accepted this new normal. Sheila can now work from home again, and we’re grateful our workplaces support us.
We even travel again, go to the gym, swim, and live peacefully—more connected to each other and our spiritual journey and fewer appointment to attend. One major challenge has been finding the balance between doing enough and not overdoing things.
I want her to gain confidence and independence, so I’ve had to learn to step back sometimes. But overall, we’ve grown closer as a couple, learning more about each other and expressing our love in new ways.
I’ve always been a positive person due to life experiences, and that mindset helped me a lot. We’ve found joy in small moments—laughing, praying, remembering our journey—and growing stronger together, with faith playing a big role.
I’ve learned that life is unpredictable. We never know what’s around the corner, so we must cherish every moment. Love deeply, care genuinely, and always support each other. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed—what matters is how we live and love today. For anyone suddenly finding they have to cope with something like this then be strong. Pray. Don’t take things too seriously. Find joy in the little things. Remember that you are enough, and your presence matters more than perfection. Stay connected to your partner—physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Be patient and open, because you’re learning each other all over again.
Your donation helps others like Ashley on their journeys
There are 100,000 strokes in the UK each year with 1 in 4 happening to somebody of working age or younger. Different Strokes aims to promote independent stroke recovery and help these younger stroke survivors reclaim their lives.
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