10 Things I learnt growing up as a stroke survivor

Bailey Holland had a stroke when she was three years old, now aged 16 she opens up about ten things growing up as a stroke survivor taught her.  

1. It’s OK, not to feel OK!
First and foremost, it’s important for anybody to understand that it’s OK to feel frustrated, confused or sad. Being a teenager, these feelings are usually blamed on hormones (which is the most frustrating thing ever!). But as long as you understand, you have every right to feel the way you are feeling – and remember, everyone has their down days!

2. The value of using my right hand.
My stroke left me with a right-sided weakness, which means I lost mobility in my right leg and arm. Personally, my hand bothers me the most. For as long as I can remember, my left hand would do all the work and it was like my right hand was not even there. As I have got older, I have begun to understand the importance of keeping my muscles working, therefore, I have started using it more, which is something I am very proud of.

3. To maintain a positive attitude.
I used to feel very negatively about my stroke. I did not even acknowledge it at one point. Because I was so negative, it led me to feel down and sad, constantly. When I finally realised I had the completely wrong outlook on life, and started making changes, life became a happier place for me, and for the others around me. Trust me on this one!

4. Talking to someone about how you are feeling helps!
Emotions can be massively heightened, and if you keep those emotions to yourself and do not talk about them, one day, you may just not be able to cope (I’ve been there!). The smallest thing can make you feel upset and, it’s so important that you be vocal about how you feel, whether it’s your emotional or physical well-being.

5. I do not need to prove myself!
I don’t know about you, but at first, I had a constant need to prove myself, whether that be in physical activities or just in general.
YOU DON’T HAVE TO FEEL LIKE YOU OWE ANYONE ANYTHING!
You are enough, and you do not need to please anyone. Having a stroke does not make you less of a person – and it is certainly not the end of the world. You can view it as a fresh start as a stronger person – remember that!

6. Being thankful for what you have.
Through Different Strokes, I have met the most incredible people, who have taught me a lot. One thing that I was told (and that has stuck with me) is to be thankful. Do not think about everything you had in the past, or what you think you might have. Keep it in the day and be thankful for what you have today and tomorrow. (This is a big one for me!)

7. To ask for help.
I get it! You might see no reason to ask for help and think you can do it yourself! That may be the case, but the reality is, especially after a stroke, that there are lasting effects. This may lead to you finding certain things difficult. Do not struggle unnecessarily. Nobody should ever be ashamed to ask for help – and they can be proud they had the strength to!

8. Give back to others.
In my school, we have a committee called PALS. This committee does a lot for the school and I was Head PAL, before I became Head Girl. One thing that the committee does, is to get involved with charity events. I was given the opportunity to raise money for Great Ormand Street Hospital and Different Strokes. Whilst doing this, I learned the importance of giving back, and it made me feel really good. To help others and hopefully give them the guidance they need is all I really want, and by giving back, I feel I am doing so.

9. Stepping out of my comfort zone.
Nationally 25% of people who have a stroke are under the age of 65. That is a scary number! But why live in fear? Do not limit yourself. Live your best life and do not fear anything. Life is too short. If we’re stroke survivors, we have been given a second chance, so use it wisely! Recently, I did an abseil down the ArcelorMittal Orbit in the Olympic Park in London. I had never been so scared in my life! But, the feeling I had once I had done it…..was amazing!

10. MY DISABILITY DOES NOT DEFINE ME!
The most important of all! Yes, you might have had something horrible happen to you – and yes, no one will understand what you have been through unless they have had a stroke too. But do you know what? If you’ve survived a stroke you are a strong person, who has had to tackle some major obstacles in life. Recovery is a process…it takes time. This can require patience. It might take everything you’ve got.
But, with motivation, determination and a positive attitude, if you believe you can achieve anything you put your mind to, whether that be recovery or something else, you can do anything – and I mean that. All you’ve got to think is…”Nice try stroke, but I’m still here!”